Simply Homeschooling with Tami Fox

Dear Friends,

When I left off yesterday, I told you that Jacob made the decision to go to Crossroads Rescue Mission for Men. This is a Christian-based mission where men are surrounded by other men who are walking a similar path. Jacob was one of the younger men at the mission. Most of the 40+ men at the facility were 20 or more years older than he is.

The first 90 days at the Mission, Jacob was only allowed to call home once to let us know he was there. For the next three months, the only communication we had with him was in the form of writing letters. For people who are used to text messaging and phone calls, this was something we had not done a lot of as a family.

They do this for several reasons, but the main reason is to give the men time to think and time to get their lives in order with God first. It gives everyone space to work through emotions, too.

The men attend chapel twice a day for six days of the week. They go to church three times a week. They spend a lot of time teaching and praying. They sit together at church. They pray together at church.

After the first 90 days are up, we were allowed to go to church with him on Sundays, and we could visit with him for a few hours at the Mission afterwards. He was given a day pass for his first home visit for Thanksgiving. For Christmas, he was able to be home for 72 hours. We all looked forward to our visits with him on Sunday. His girlfriend also went with us, and we all grew closer through it.

He was also allowed to call home once a week for 15 minutes. We still wrote letters, but they were fewer in frequency. I really grew to love the letters that we wrote as a family and in getting letters back from him.

During his time there, he worked for the Mission at their Thrift Store and in the kitchen. He learned new skills. He learned about living in a large group of men, and he learned about living for God.

He renewed his relationship with God first and foremost. Then, he worked on his relationships with the rest of us. He was more like his old self. His physical wounds healed. He got stronger spiritually and physically.

During a home visit in the spring, he proposed to his girlfriend. She stuck beside him through thick and thin. She prayed for him and loved him even when he did not love himself very much. They set a wedding date, and they are getting married on June 16, 2018. Through all these valleys, I got my son back, and I gained a daughter. My heart could not be fuller.

To God be the glory! Great things He hath done. He took the ashes from a fire, and He created something of beauty from the ashes.

If you or anyone you love is in a similar situation, there is Hope. Jesus is the Hope. If you don’t know Him personally, He loves you, and He wants you to turn to him.

You can read Part 1 HERE, if you missed it.

You can read Part 2 HERE, if you missed it.

John 3:16 King James Version (KJV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Dear Friends,

One year ago today, we got a phone call that changed the course of the past year.

Some stories are written on our hearts, and it takes time to be ready to share the story. There are a few times in the last year that I wasn’t sure if Jacob would live to see this day. His life was spared more than once. I know God has big plans for him. He was not ready to bring him Home to heaven last year.

May 30, 2017, Jacob was involved in a car accident. He struck a truck that ran a stop sign, and his truck rolled over 5 times. EMS called our home when en route and asked us to come since Jacob had a few abrasions. They did not make it sound serious, so I went alone and called his girlfriend to meet me there. Once I arrived, I quickly surmised that his injuries were more serious than a few abrasions. He has been taken immediately to get a cat-scan. I was asked to sign a permission slip for a blood transfusion.

My first sight of him is something I will never forget. I can’t even describe it for you, but I knew he was injured badly. He had nicked an artery in his scalp and lost of a lot of blood. His blood pressure was very low. They worked to stop the bleeding and ascertained that his injuries were more serious than they could manage at our regional hospital. I was asked which trauma center we preferred for his transport. This was within 30 minutes of arrival.

After I made the decision, I made some phone calls and stopped by my mother’s house to pick up some water bottles and snacks for my ride to the trauma center an hour and a half away.

He was transferred quickly from regional medical center to the trauma Emergency Department to a room on the trauma unit. During all of this, he was not given anything for pain because of the low blood pressure. As a parent it was hard to watch my child be in pain and be unable to do anything for him. I prayed a lot. I advocated for him. I was his voice when he had no voice.

The first 24 hours were tough. He eventually was given pain meds, but he was not alert for most of the first 24 hours. I did not leave his side and neither did his girlfriend.

After the first 24 hours, he started responding and talking more. We worked on cleaning up his head and hair that were terribly matted with dried blood. My husband brought our other children to see him. It was hard for all of us to see Jacob this way.

As he approached the 48 hour mark, he had greatly improved. He passed neurological tests. He had many x-rays, and he did not have any broken bones. His swelling near his heart abated. His main injuries were the head injury and a shoulder injury of the shoulder that was not restrained by the seat belt.

After he was discharged, I brought him home to start his recovery process. He had just started a new job, and that was difficult to navigate with their human resources department. He had injuries that required follow up appointments. After many phone calls, I learned how difficult it is to be seen for injuries related to an automobile accident. I spent days on the phone trying to make appointments. It was frustrating. I finally found an orthopedic doctor who would see him for the shoulder issue.

As he recovered from the head injury and concussion, he went through a lot of difficult days. Pain, depression, and injury are not easy for anyone to manage. As we were able to see more doctors for the different injuries, he was given pain management protocols. This is a dangerous combination for someone who has a family history of depression and addiction.

As the summer progressed, so did his depression. He was unable to work due to the pain and injuries. One doctor appointment often led to no answers and two or three more appointments. My schedule quickly filled with appointments for him. I was managing paperwork, and I was driving him to his appointments.

He was finally released to drive again, and he was able to take himself to appointments. He was seeing a physical therapist for the shoulder injury. He was getting adjustments with our chiropractor. He was seeing an orthopedic doctor and our family doctor. He sank into further depression. As the pain medication refills were used and not renewed, he found other ways to escape the pain and depression.

For several weeks, we did not know exactly where he was. I could see from his bank account that he was using his debit card. He would reply to my text messages occasionally with promises that he would be home that night. Days would go by with no communication from him. It was one of the hardest valleys of my life.

But this valley was going to get harder for all of us. Join me tomorrow for part 2 of his story. Part 3 can be read here.